Treasure the present.

The most important time is now.

"You won't be able to do that when you get to school"

"If you don't behave Father Christmas won't come?"

We want Christmas and school to be happy times, so why would we speak to children in threats and warnings.

If adults want to change a child's behaviour now, seek compliance now, teach children something now, then now is the time to refer to.

Smacking referendum

Making smacking a criminal offence will not support families and community in learning not to smack.  And how much money will go into a referendum and political discussion around this bill?

 Let's put that money into supporting people in positive methods that replace smacking.  This will be an investment in the future generations. Each generation of children will grow into adults who know the reason for not smacking - and that reason will not be "because it is a criminal offence." The benefits will be far reaching. 

Patrick Sherratt from The Pacific Institute talking about "Investments in Excellence" tells us that our "Internal beliefs influence our present and potential behaviour"  

We have the power to promote internal beliefs that are strong, positive, valued.

Let's ask each individual adult "Which way do you want to use your power?"

There is no reason

Someone has been hurt.

An adult asks the other child "Why did you do that?"

There is no reason for hurting others.

No given reason would be an appropriate answer, so don't ask for one.

Throughout the child's life it will never be okay to hurt someone because they did something to him.

"What happened?" is the question to ask.

"What could you do?"

"You can tell him what you think."

"What can we do to help him feel better?"

"Do you need something to help you feel better?"

This is not a quick fix, but a long-lasting learning experience.

Adult learners and teachers who learn with the children.

I have been fortunate to attend Professional Learning opportunities where I have listened to  highly regarded researchers and theorists. I bring home learning including the vision that adult learners attending seminars learn best through direct experience, through active involvement and firsthand participation.  I have also learned that what adults remember from a seminar is what they 'think' while they are attending that seminar. Well, I think, adult learners learn best when they 'think of it' themselves (I think).

So, my question is this - I have adult learners around me  ( I am lucky that way)  how can I empower them to 'think of it themselves?'

Listened to and valued

Children who participate in this culture where their ideas are listened to and valued, know what to say.  Children had begun to use driftwood to shoot others.  Ryley said "It's not very nice to shoot.  Shooting makes people feel sad and think they don't want you around.  They think that anyone doesn't want you."

Thank you Ryley for these words.  I have been looking for the right words for a long time about shooting.

I would like to use these words to help other children learn about how shooting feels.

Amidst the active and adventurous play outdoors there are so many opportunities for children to be involved in positive resolutions.

A child was swinging a saw in the sandpit.

Teacher: That's a saw.  What do you know about saws?

Child: For cutting. (And the child took the saw to the right place.)

Very few words were said.  The child knew what to do.

Child: he's chasing us and we don't like it.

Teacher: What can you do?

Child: Tell him. (And ran off)

Child: He's trying to put me in jail.

Teacher: What do you think?

Child: Tell him, but he wants to put me in jail.

Teacher: Are you going to jail?

Child to jailer: Don't put me in jail otherwise I won't like it.

Child threw a bucket on another child's back.

Teacher:  That's a bucket. What do you know about a bucket?

Child put the bucket in the right place.

Child: He's fighting.

Teacher: What do you think?

Child said nothing.

Teacher: What do you know about fighting?

Child: Going somewhere else.

While I think that telling the offender is important, choosing to play somewhere else is a valid way to keep safe. This  child is new to our kindergarten. He chose to go away, and this method worked.

Child:  Jimmy won't let us up.

Teacher: You can tell him that you can go up.

Child: But Jimmy always hits people.

Teacher:  Jimmy knows about being kind to people.

Jimmy's self image will benefit by hearing he is a positive learner.

These interactions all occurred within minutes outdoors.

Some children are experienced and know what to say and do.

Some are still learning, so different layers of guidance are given by teacher.

All self images remain intact. Including my own.

No voices were raised, no blood pressure was raised.

All children are safe in their learning.

What to say to empower children to be actively involved in positive resolutions.

Two boys in the family room. One boy said "No girls in here."

Teacher. (To the girls) "What do you think about that?"

One girl withdraws, one girl remains, looking,  thinking and standing on the edge of the family room.

Boy. "Oh no girls can come in."  He had thought about (how it would feel), or (that he does like girls), or that it is the right thing to do.

The 'non involved' boy heard and learned.

The girl who withdrew heard and learned.

Lots of learning for all in this short incident.

There was no crying, no shouting, no teacher directing the play.

The teacher removed self from absolute control.  The power and decision making was given back to the children.

Have you got a story?

"She's afraid of spiders."

"You want everything now."

"He cries every time I leave."

"She doesn't like baths."

"He doesn't like vegetables."

A child's self image is being formed all the time.

Our words are powerful.

Let our words be powerfully positive.

"You are still learning to like spiders."

"You are learning to wait for a turn."

"You are learning to be at kindergarten while I go to the gym."

"I like the way you wash yourself in the bath."

" I like the way you try different vegetables." "I like the way you try a little of each vegetable."

Powerfully positive. Chris Critic

The real difference.

These are the people that make the real difference to our teaching and learning programme.  Nicky, Bex and Carola are field based student teachers who we are proud to call our colleagues.